(My) Life with two kids
I’m currently sitting in the staff-lounge at the kindergarten, waiting to pick up Max again after his first solo 30 minutes at “vuggestuen”. His first two days have been great (so far) and I’m so proud of my littlest. Also, knowing the kindergarten is great (his brother is in the same institution) makes me feel a ton more relaxed and confident it will turn out for the best.
Having some time on my own (wow, I can actually hear myself think!), I thought I’d check in here and make a little post on what it has been like transitioning from one to two kids and my thoughts on Max going from a baby to a toddler (soon).
First of all, going from 0 to 1 kid is a huge change in anyones life. Not having that free time on your own anymore and constantly worrying, thinking, obsessing about a small human definitely turns your everyday on the head. Throw in a colick-y, reflux-y and wild baby on top of that and you have my first maternity leave in a nutshell. No wonder I went in to a post-birth depression for a while. Felix have always worn his emotions on the outside, having a hard time coping with feelings and impressions.
When Max came into our lives I think Felix was both overjoyed and slightly confused at the same time. He has nothing but love for his baby brother but he’s been taking his rollercoaster emotions out on us parents (which is completely normal, since we are his “comfort zone”). But it’s been HARD having to master his emotions carefully at the same time as taking care of and nursing a new, soft, tiny human.
Having Max made me realise that Felix in fact were a “hard” baby – deep down I knew that it wasn’t my fault that he fussed and fought his way through his first months of life but seeing and having another baby that acts completely different made this maternity leave so much easier. Not just the everyday tasks but also emotionally. I braced myself during my pregnancy, expecting him to be just as colicky and fussy as his brother and I’m so relived he’s not.
Don’t get me wrong, Felix is an amazing child – loving, talented and magical in his own way (and ALL THAT crazy and moody at the same time). He’s wonderful with his brother and just wants him to laugh and give him all of his attention at the same time as -NOT- touching his precious LEGO collection (haha, better get used to it). Max fights him for the attention and somedays I get that old case of mom-guilt not having enough time, arms or brain capacity for both of them or even my amazing boyfriend who also works full-time, cleans the house and does all the things, all the time.
My go-to motto on the days when everything just seems overwhelming are:
“- When you think they’re acting their worst, that’s when they really need you the most.”
So, I’m exited for Max to grow, learn to talk, walk, shake his booty and run around playing with Felix. I’m so exited to show them the world, teach them things and raise them to become (even more) amazing humans. It just feels a bit tricky some days when I know they’re spending long hours at kindergarten, we spend long hours at work and fully planned weekends of “must-do’s”.
There’s a little dream in me that we’ll be able to escape the everyday for a year, maybe more, someday in the future to go live slowly in a place with no “must-do’s” and things that takes the time and focus away from our children. I just need to build up some more courage to take that leap.