10 steps to get rid of “scary mom”
Parenting isn’t easy and I’ve realised that I’ve been quite the “scary mom” lately. Cranky, moody and overall just a negative force, I’ve made the choice to re-boot and re-charge and make some much needed changes in my days and mindset to turn it all around and to listen to myself a bit more. After my post regarding this on Instagram, I realised I’m not the only one stuck in a bad habit, so I wanted to share 10 things I’ll try to do as much as possible during the days – You can’t do them all everyday but to sneak some of the bulletpoints in will definitely make a difference!
Start your day with positive affirmations
Having a positive attitude from the get-go can really make the entire day become more easy to handle and trick the body and mind to believe in the positivity as well. You might not have slept very well during the night, or the threenager is a pain in the butt to get ready and out through the door but make sure remind yourself of one or a couple of positive things the first thing in the morning to start the day of right (sneak off into the bathroom while the partner handles the breakfast mess, look at your tired face in the mirror – wash your face and tell yourself that you’ve got this – you’re beautiful, it’s a great day for a long walk with music in your ears, the rain makes your garden bloom or how lucky you are that you have that crazy family on the other side of that toilet door). No one leaves the home without a hug and an “I love you, have a great day” – no matter how annoyed you’ve been with each other.
Put on some soothing music
When I need to wind down, I always play some soothing, meditative music. Beyonce or Green Day might be the thing working for you, then you go with that. Having some relaxing sounds in the background helps me to focus my mind and to unravel my thoughts. Also, it’s nice to listen to something else than toddler-mumbo jumbo for a while.
Burn some essential oil
In combination with the music, I burn essential oil – I use some from Urtegaarden. I like Lavender, Ylang Ylang and Blood orange based on what mood I’m in. Next time I’ll get some Rose oil that also works well for calming and relaxation. By stimulating the different senses, your body will know what to do when the different sounds, smells are activated – it will automatically connect and start to relax.
1st picture: Facial products from The Ordinary, Hair and Body products from Aesop.
Take a bath/shower
I’ve always tried to take showers in the evening, after the kids are sleeping (or when my boyfriend is home to watch them at least). This because no one is allowed to interrupt my shower, it’s kind of sacred to me now after I’ve had kids. The door gets locked, the nice products comes out and I can take just as long as I want to get through my cleansing and pampering ritual. Quick showers in the morning with screaming kids outside just don’t do it for me. After the first pregnancy and loosing loads of hair from it, grabby baby hands and stress, I changed into using Aesop products for my hair. I love the natural smell of it and it has worked wonders for my hair to quit the grocery store brands. I’ve also invested in a nice robe to feel pretty and comfortable even on those days with a messy bun and no make-up.
1st picture: Flower stand at Torvehallerne, Copenhagen.
Buy yourself something nice
Might be the best bullet point (probably not for an everyday usage). Get yourself something nice, just because you are you and you deserve it. It could be as simple and cheap as a small bouquet of flowers (Peonies are in season here now – both visually pretty and smells fantastic) or some new products for your hair, that dress you’ve wanted but kept avoiding to buy so you could get the kids some nice stuff – this is the time to get something for you, the kids will be fine.
Take a walk without your phone
Just do it. Look at the wind blowing in the grass, your feet taking a step after the other, the blooming apple trees and relax your mind. Just watch out for the people looking into their phones that keep walking into you.
Yoga mat from Casall, Silk kimono from a shop in Bali.
Meditate/Do yoga/work out
This pretty much says it self. Get the partner to watch the kids and spend some time with yourself. Meditation can really open up your mind and working out will give you endorphins, strength and energy to handle what ever comes at you when you’re back home again. Just don’t do it for the beach bod, do it for yourself – and remember to take a photo at the beach no matter how that post-pregnancy body looks, your kids will love the memory and will never focus on your body parts.
Make a small list of your wishes and dreams
I find it really hard to stay positive and motivated if I don’t have any goals to work towards or get exited about. Both long term ones and short term ones. It can be as easy as “get grocery” to as crazy as “travel the world for 4 months together with the kids”. Some random things on my list right now is:
- Sew a linen wrap kimono
- Tokyo and Bali with the kids
- Explore Iceland and Marrakesh
- Remember to give Max his D-vitamins everyday
- Paint Felix room
Just skip the dinner for once, order in and spend that hour of dinner-prep with your kids or even hugging your partner (he or she needs some love too).
Don’t fight through one more episode of the series you’re following on Netflix, just go to bed. Your body will thank you for it. If you can, take a nap with your kid during the day as well, to stack up on energy for the witching hour. The laundry and the vacuuming can wait.
What things do you do when you want to relax or re-charge? I’d love to get more tips on self care, so don’t be afraid of dropping a comment!